Heard this one on a hard-IFR trip down V27 off the California coast. The weather was scuzzy with heavy rain from the surface up to the flight levels with no layers at all. Despite this, ATC valiantly continued trying to call traffic:
NORCAL Approach: “Skywest Two Niner Six Five, traffic is a Beech Sierra, 12 o’clock, opposite direction at 8000.”
Skywest 2965: “Approach, Skywest Two Niner Six Five is IMC.”
Approach: “Beech Seven Four Papa, traffic 12 o’clock, opposite direction at 9000, a Canadair regional jet.
Beech 74P: “Uh, we’re pretty heavy IMC here, as well. But we’ll let you know if we feel anything.”
Approach: “Uh, Roger that.”
Brad Willmore
via email
Overheard by Indiana, Penn., where the airport is named after Jimmy Stewart:
Cleveland Center: “Citation One Two Bravo Bravo, report Jimmy Stewart in sight.”
Citation 12BB: “I heard he was dead, but I’ll keep looking.”
Unknown: “I haven’t seen Jimmy, but I did see Elvis the other day.
Ed Frye
Polk, Penn.
On a flight from Astoria, Ore., to Red Bluff, Calif., we were monitoring 122.8 and heard this conversation from a flight-of-two approaching the airport:
Airplane 1: “Charlie, this flight-of-two flying is great!”
Airplane 2: “Rich, I’ve noticed I’m a lot slower than you.”
Unknown: “Yes, we know, and so is your airplane.”
Jack and Margaritta Cullimore
Ilwaco, Wash.
Overheard one night at Louisville Bowman Field:
Bowman Tower: “Baron Five Three Eight Seven, Bowman Tower.”
Baron 5387: “Baron Five Three Eight Seven. Go ahead, sir.”
Tower: “Is your aircraft equipped with a GPS?”
Baron 5387: “Affirmative.”
Tower: “Could you give me your current groundspeed? I want to check what I’m seeing on our radar.”
Baron 5387: “I’m seeing 158 knots.”
Tower: “Thanks. That checks with our equipment.”
Baron 5387: “Sure. Ah, anything else we can do for you?”
Tower: “Well, do you sing?”
Baron 5387: “Not very well.”
Chris Parks
Gallatin, Tenn.
Overheard on Tyndall Approach frequency in February:
Male voice: “Hey, Tyndall. Did you enjoy your Valentine’s Day off?”
Tyndall Approach: “You’ve got to be kidding me. How about you?”
Male voice: “Nah, I don’t have a sweetheart.”
Approach: “Yeah, I’m married, too.”
Timothy Schryer
Dothan, Ala.
One of the local Buffalo, Wyo., pilots landed in Casper a couple of weeks ago and was getting ready to take off when he overheard a great conversation between another light plane (obviously not from this area) and the control tower. Local columnist, Jim Hicks, put it in his column, but I asked him if there was a copyright issue on reprinting it and he gave his blessing. The conversation went something like this:
Casper Tower: “Cessna Niner Zero Charlie, cleared for takeoff.”
Pilot: “There’s five antelope on the runway! What should I do? What should I do?”
Tower: “What do you think you should do?”
Pilot (after a pause): “Maybe if I taxi toward them it’ll scare ’em away.”
Tower: “That’s a good idea.”
Pilot (three minutes later): “These antelope are not paying any attention to us. They’re still on the runway.”
Tower: “Roger Cessna Niner-Zero-Charlie, hold your position. Break. Antelope on Runway 32, you are cleared to taxi west 100 yards.”
Tower came back on 20 seconds later, presumably after the antelope coincidentally departed the runway:
Tower: “Cessna Niner Zero Charlie, cleared for departure, Runway 32. Caution wake turbulence departing antelope.”
Bruce Anspaugh
La Crescenta, Calif.
(formerly of Buffalo, Wyo.)
