Enroute from Afton, Wyoming to Colorado Springs, Colorado, I heard the following:
Salt Lake Center: “Malibu 48NC, say altitude. We are showing you 400 feet low.”
48NC: “Say altimeter setting.”
Salt Lake Center: “For you, it’s 29.92.”
48NC: “Oh, sorry; this is my first time in Class A airspace.”
Robert Schapiro
Tampa, FL
We were circling to land after shooting the ILS to a runway that was closed for maintenance. A Southwest 737 was taxiing toward the active runway for departure when the following exchange took place:
Tower: “Southwest 123 if you could hurry it up around the corner we can keep the Cessna a bit closer to the airport for the circle.”
Southwest 123: “Roger, we’ll keep it rolling to help them out.”
Me: “Thanks Southwest, I can feel the LUV.”
Brian Morrison
Albuquerque, NM
This was told to me by one of my Captains. Years ago, he had departed Philadelphia International and overheard the following:
Center: “Gulfstream XYZ, unable Teterboro. Airport is closed.”
XYZ” “Roger.”
There was a pause, probably while the pilots conferred with passengers.
XYZ: “Center, why is TEB closed?”
Center: “Airport is flooded.”
After another pause:
XYZ: “Center, how long has TEB been closed?”
Center: “Several days now.”
Which was followed by:
Continental ABC: “Continental’s hiring.”
Southwest DEF: “Southwest is hiring.”
United GHI: “United doesn’t want you…”
Jim McIrvin
Warrenton, VA
This is a true story I witnessed at San Antonio about 35 years ago: I was number 2 for takeoff behind a C-150 at Runway 12R intersection departure. The 150 was cleared into position and hold. After landing traffic cleared, tower told him to turn right 180, cleared for takeoff. So he made a 180 on the runway and took off into the face of landing traffic. Quick tower action sent the short final aircraft on a go-around. Could have been nasty…
Barry McCollom
Kerrville, TX
I was flying my Cessna 182T to Lee airport (KANP), located less than 8 miles inside the Washington DC SFRA. I was descending through 1500 feet on my way to Lee’s pattern altitude of 1034. Lee is a small field surrounded by businesses and residential areas, and I was having a hard time spotting the airport and wanted to get over to the local frequency for traffic advisory.
Me: “Potomac Approach, Skylane 29N, approaching Lee airport, request frequency change to Lee’s CTAF.”
Approach: “Skylane 29N, do you have the field in site?”
Me: “Approach, 29N, not quite, but we are close and looking.”
Approach: “Then not quite on the frequency change. Let me know when you have the field in site.”
Barry Kallander
Denmark, ME
I was on a cross country into Albany, New York and I had the following exchange with Albany approach:
Me: “Albany approach, Cessna N1367H 10 miles west, 7500, inbound for landing. Have information Tango.”
Albany approach: “Cessna 67H fly heading 090. Descend and maintain 3000. Expect right down wind for Runway 28.”
Me: “67H, fly 090, descending to 3000. Expect right downwind for 28.”
Albany approach: “Cessna 67H are you the same pilot who flew here last week?”
Me: “76H, no, I’ve never been to Albany.”
Albany approach: “Well I’m glad to see that plane still in the air. The guy who flew it here last week landed on 1 instead of 28. Caused all kinds of trouble.”
Me: “Well I’ll try to do better.”
Bryan Johnson
Pompton Plains, NJ
With barely enough for each month, we still need more. Please send us your cleverest (or most embarrassing) moment on the radio—or your favorite fix names or airport names—with a subject of “OTA,” to [email protected]. Be sure to include your full name and location.
